From the High Sierra. Man, Convict Lake was gorgeous! The lake was so pretty and blue, the mountains were spectacular with their colors, the sky was flawless, and the stars at night were simply breath taking. The moon dominated the sky though, with it being so close to a full moon, haha.
I kind of wish it was a full moon...I would have loved doing a full moon ritual up there in the small meadow by the steam or by the lake.
The animals there were way awesome too. One night we saw a small pack crossing the road, and it was so cute because 6 of them were waiting on one side of the road, and another 2 were crossing, but one stopped when she noticed the other was staring at our car, still on the other side of the road. It actually waited it for it to cross! It was awesome. And later we saw two deer prancing around in a meadow behind our camp site at 12am.
I wanted to stay there longer. I had such a good trip and we caught three great fish. :D
And as a major bonus, I had broughten along Living Wicca by Scott Cunningham, my first Wiccan book that I myself bought, and while I was up there I got waaaaaay more closer to the Goddess and God (And even grew comfortbale talking to Him) so that made me extremely happy.
Well, I'm tired, and I'm going to go update my BoS a bit.
I don't know if I spelled that right or not, but it's true. For the next 3 or 4 weeks I am under the full custody of my mother (oh joy...) I do love my mother, I just don't like spending too much time with her, and I also hate why this is happening. Becuase on tuesday june 12 I woke up waay late for school (10:47 am) and I saw my uncle without clothes on while watering the garden in our backyard. Ok, first time I saw this but I was like "Whatever, he doesn't know I'm still here (no one knew I wasn't at school -__-), and I just hope no one calls the police on him for indecent exposure." But man, when my mom found out, she blew up. My dad was worrying and asking my uncle why he was doing that (saying it was ok if it was in his bedroom, but not walking around the house or outside where someone-or me-might see) My mom, saying she couldn't do it in good conscious, let me go home that night becuase my uncle was coming home at 2 or 3 a.m. and she didn't want me there with him. And my mom said that she now had full custody over me until my uncle was moved out and if I go over there with my uncle there, my dad could lose his nursing credentials because he wasn't "acting like a good parent" and I could get shipped off to foster care (...do they really think I let people take me from them?) Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh >=[ I am not happy about this. This infuriates me that I now have visiting time with my dad unlike the usual 50-50 custody that I was ok with. I really don't know what you guys will tell me, or if you'll say anything at all, but since I learned about this today and have no one to vent with since I'm at my house so I just wanted to post it here. Thanks to anyone reading.
That's the best at how I can describe my life at the moment. I never liked the months of may & june.
Maybe becuase school is ending, friendships are going to be lost over summer, my summer shall be long....
Ugh...
This is how my life goes during these two month periods...I lost intrest in things again, I begin slack on work and then rush the next day to finish it, I wander away from friends and start reading whenever I can, and stuff like that.
Doesn't help that this disintrest thing has started in november this year...But I do admit, at least I'm not harming myself anymore or thinking about suicide (it was bad, for the past 2 years when I was a christian, I didn't hold that "you're a sinner and deserve to go to hell since the second you were born" very well, and with other issues, i was kind of ready to go over the edge)
Once again, I must say that I really do love Wicca for this, they don't say that I'm an evil person becuase I was born and that I have to repent for everything.
I guess I should stop my visiting friends at church cuz I kept thinking about those past memories (I guess I'm still not over it, I slip every once in awhile)...I swear, those lessons are evil. They always fall back on how we're not good enoughand that we are evil beings.
I wonder how they would react to me being Wiccan...they must know something is up since I don't come as devotedly as I did before...I don't sing/dance while they're singing like I used to...I barely pray when they do (if i do, i pray to the god & goddess instead to help me)...and I ask them questions I didn't before like how can we trust the bible with all that it says (hey it is a book that's been passed through human hands, it could've gotten changed) and why should there be only one path that obviously not everyone can't follow and how come catholics pray to the Virgin Mary and saints when they're not suppose to (pray to one god only, last time i checked)
Yeah, so to them I'm becomming someone who they don't know anymore (I guess they don't, I was gone for 7 months and switched around my thinking a lot)
I wonder if they'll kick me out of church for being a Wiccan or if they're evolved enough to listen and understand my reasons for changing.....I wonder if they'll throw bible verses at me....I wonder if they'll try to "save my soul from eternal damnation" or pray that I come back to them...
Lots of wondering but no answers until I decide to tell them....ughhh
I must say, I am very happy that I have a high tolerance of ingorant, annoying, and/or stupid people...but then you can't really blame the ignorant people...
I just wish people would listen to me, but noo....of course they won't. they don't have the openess to listen to who I truly am...It seems like everyday I have to go through what people say...
Well, obviously you can probably tell that I'm having a few troubles with people at my school knowing I'm Wiccan, or to their terms, a witch. Here are just a few tales from one day:
1. One of my friends has hard days. Very hard days since she tends to be annoying to people and doesn't know it really. Since she is annoying to a lot of people, she tends to get picked on a lot. So one day she comes up to me and askes me to put a black spell on this girl in he pe class who kept making fun of her by pretending to be her. But as I was trying to easily tell her why I couldn't and wouldn't do it, she got mad even at me and walked off. Later, she asked me to put a spell on her to make her happy. But as I told her how I thought we should solve the problem (since I'm more like a try-fixing-it-myself first, then asking the gods/goddesses for their help, then doing a helpful spell kind of person) she walked off even madder...
2. If you ever read A Midsummer Night's Dream, you know that Bottom in Act 4 believes that he dreamt of sexual-related acts with a woman and of faeries. He was going to tell everyone, but then thought better of it. My english teacher had told us that it's becuase back in the Elizabethian Era, if you dreamt of those things you could be accused of witchcraft. When I said "that's mean," a guy in my class said "why? they're witches...burn the witches." I stared at him in shock and said that not all witches are bad, and I should know since I'm wiccan. But then he kept going after me with Hollywood movie stuff (black spells, animal sacrfices, ect.) and soon I just got tired of him and he not listening to a word I said.
3. Finally, the last annoying person is one who I have disliked since 7th grade. He dislikes me back. It's a dislike-dislike relationship. Oh well. But everytime he sees me, he'll come over with his fingers crossed into the shape of a cross towards me, shouting That I needed Jesus. The first few times, I stared at him, the next few times I tried telling him to quite it, now.....I just ingore him. He still shouts it or something, but thankfully I'm able to shrug it off.
It's times like those that I wish I wasn't by myself. I mean sure, I have understanding friends, but I guess it would be nice to have a friend who believes in the same stuff....
I feel better now that I wrote this out....actually, i wrote this out a few times to different people...I guess I needed to since this has been pent up for awhile...
Need a laugh? Well, people seemed to enjoy my "top ten" list yesterday, so I thought I'd give you a link to someone else's...and this one's really fun! I present: Top 10 Signs You're Facing a "Wannabe".
Thanks for listening the other day when I needed someone to talk to. Sorry it was such a depressing subject. Isn't that always the case though when someone needs to talk. lol Anywho, I hope things are going ok for you. Things are going a lot better on my end. Well I hope to ttyl. :)
Request Friendship
Need a laugh? Well, people seemed to enjoy my "top ten" list yesterday, so I thought I'd give you a link to someone else's...and this one's really fun! I present: Top 10 Signs You're Facing a "Wannabe".
TaliesinBlessed Be,
01:54 PM CST